# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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