We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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