OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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