There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I will be naked everywhere
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
