Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
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