I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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