can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
