I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
bring money and cleavage
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
