didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
