whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
