random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
