apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
