He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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