did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
