its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
