just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
