Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer

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(740): View more from Ohio

Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics

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(410): View more from Maryland

You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.

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(925): View more from California

Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.

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(703): View more from Virginia

He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina

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(909): View more from California

So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment

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(785): View more from Kansas

He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"

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(720): View more from Colorado

What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.

(303): View more from Colorado

First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left

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