If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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