Bisexual people are plain selfish.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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