Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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