i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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