I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
