Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
