i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
