You really coming over, don't trick.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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