Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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