i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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