we have pet lesbian snakes
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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