Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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