He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
