i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We're too hungover to prance.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
