is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
