At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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