remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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