It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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