I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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