I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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