is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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