It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
