You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
