I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
