I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
