Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
