I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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