She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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