i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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