Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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