Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
im holly from the hills drunk
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
