How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
be right there i have to get my cape
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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