i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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